Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
