ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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