please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
