she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
