eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
