And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
