bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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