i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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