Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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