Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize