I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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