you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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