And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
