thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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