Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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