I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize