Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
