Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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