You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
