i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
