We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
