HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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