i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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