hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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