let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
