I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
