We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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