Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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