pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said her name was "party"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
