if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
