Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
