In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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