After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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