Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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