I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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