Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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