Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
