If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
