I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
please don't ironically join a cult
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