Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
