hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
