make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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