He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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