Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
