you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
