She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
