And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
