he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
