..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You may now shotgun with the bride
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
