Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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