He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I forget how to act sober
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
