I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
