is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
