so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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