i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
