How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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