What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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