Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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